Category: on being lolita

On Being Lolita: Sweet Resolutions

On Being Lolita: Sweet Resolutions

by alice ♥ 4 Comments

It’s hard to grasp that 2009 is over, and 2010 begins tomorrow! 2009 was quite an eventful year for me; I can’t help wondering what the new year will bring. It turned out that I actually had the opportunity to buy new clothes during this year, but there wasn’t much that really caught my eye. I made new friends within the community and bid other lolita farewell, as they went on to follow their dreams. ♥ I started living in my own tiny apartment, and got this crazy idea that it would be okay to cram many petticoated girls into it! (I still think that’s a good idea, though. I really love having company over~) I even took the plunge and finally had bangs cut into my hair! I feel like most things that happened were positive, and I am hopeful that 2010 will continue in that tradition.

Most years I try to make resolutions for the coming year. Most years I don’t do very well at even remembering what my resolutions were. I thought I’d make some focusing on lolita this year.

★ Host more meetups!
It seems there are more and more lolita and aristocrats in Chicago every day! I want to make sure there’s a variety of activities, from the inexpensive to the more decadent–a little bit of something for everyone’s taste and budget. I’d like to go ice skating at Millennium Park in the beginning of the year, spend more time at the Lincoln Park Zoo when the weather is good, and visit the Garfield Park Conservatory again~ I’d also still like to have afternoon tea somewhere nice–maybe Russian Tea Time again or one of the hotels if the price and service is right. I’d also like more “cozy” meetups relaxing at someone’s home; that’s really my favorite thing to do.

★ Work harder on loli_bookclub!
 I tried to revive this community during the year–an online book club with a lolita focus. It’s sometimes hard to really connect lolita fashion with most books, but I’m hopeful that I can keep on a better schedule with the community so that more members will join. I’d also like to encourage local communities to host book club meetings or start other book-related projects!

★ Hold still for more pictures!
Even though I wear lolita fashion on a fairly regular basis, I almost never pause to take pictures. I’d like to be able to look back when I’m old(er) and reminisce about this time in my life! Seeing pictures of myself dressed in frills and lace, and pictures of my friends, will remind me about how much fun I had and how silly I looked without caring about it~ I won’t be able to wear lolita fashion forever, so I want proof so future generations can giggle at how odd I looked. n_~

 ★ Post entries more often!
I always have something I’d like to write about, but I find that too many times I don’t post because I am worried about not having pictures. I know that my writings are mostly text, and thus not very visually interesting. I’d really like to change that, but I am not very prepared in terms of picture-taking; I never seem to have my camera with me when something actually happens! I also don’t like using pictures that aren’t mine, even with proper credit, unless I know that person well and they have specifically said it was alright.  However, I don’t want readers to be bored–everyone likes pictures, right? Right now I know I wanted to talk about holiday dresses, Christmas, the macarons from Trader Joe’s, and so much more!

Surely there are other lolita with New Year’s resolutions, right? What are yours–especially if they’re lolita fashion-related?

I’m wishing a Happy New Year to everyone! ♥

On Being Lolita: The Gift of Socks

On Being Lolita: The Gift of Socks

by alice ♥ 5 Comments

BtSSB Paris Souvenir
Originally uploaded by sweetmilktea

For the past few years, my stepfather has been working abroad. He’ll be off in another country for months at a time, and he’s had the opportunity to live in France, Switzerland, Ireland, China, and several other countries. Recently he was assigned again to Paris–this time for a long enough time period that his company opted to rent an apartment for him instead of having him stay at a hotel. My mother loves visiting Paris, so she went to see him at the end of October this year.

Although I have never been out of the country, I have several family members who often travel abroad. My mother wanted to bring back souvenirs or little regional gifts when she went to Paris, but that becomes more and more difficult the more frequently it is visited. (There are only so many “PARIS” t-shirts that a person really wants, after all~) However, since I have never actually been there myself I couldn’t come up with something more specific–like a certain candy bar or a certain inexpensive cosmetic.

I decided to ask for a picture of the BABY, the Stars Shine Bright boutique. I couldn’t justify asking for anything from the shop itself; I didn’t know what would be in stock and almost everything would be out of my mother’s budget. I didn’t want my family to think I was just using them to shop, so I didn’t want a long specific list or to ask them go into the store. Just a vacation photo of the shop’s facade, taken by my mother, was what I wanted.

However, my mother and stepfather took my request very deeply to heart! They started researching the store, reading the blog, and browsing the Japanese website. My mother wanted to talk to me or look up information about lolita fashion, determined to know as much as possible–because they decided they were going to go into the shop and have a look around.

For the most part my family did not really approve of my hobby, but things have really changed now! My mother sent me cellphone pictures of the store and several emails to tell about it even before she returned home. She adored the shoes on display; she kept trying to describe them to me, lamenting that none were in stock in my size. My stepfather realized it is located near a cafe he frequents, and offered to drop by the store if I wanted him to pick something up for me at a later date.

And, they bought me a pair of socks. ♥ They decided to get me something, and socks were the most affordable, easy to pack, and less difficult to select. I now have a lovely pair of pink knee socks embroidered with pink macarons decorated with tiny sparkling rhinestones~ Even more wonderful than the socks themselves is the love that went into the gift. I can’t believe they actually bought something!

On Being Lolita: Improving the Fit

On Being Lolita: Improving the Fit

by alice ♥ 2 Comments

Unless you fall into a very specific range of measurements or specifically commission every item of your lolita wardrobe, it’s almost inevitable that you will fall in love with at least one garment that won’t fit. Japanese lolita fashion brands generally manufacture an item in only one size (although there are a few exceptions), and the same measurements are not used for every garment. The general idea is to have the garment fit “Japanese standard size 9,” but the result is not always so. Metamorphose typically runs bigger than BABY, the Stars Shine Bright, which typically runs bigger than Mary Magdalene. And even within a brand, sizes can vary even between items in the same series–that is why the companies list measurements for each garment.

So what is a lolita to do when she sees the dress that sets her heart aflame only to read the numbers that cast a shadow on her hopes and dreams?

There are roughly three overall options: dieting, alterations, or replicas.

Dieting really only works if you are slightly larger than the comfortable size for the garment. Losing weight is not simple, especially if you do it properly instead of hoping for a quick-fix. Also, there are many fit-related issues that cannot be helped by losing weight–if a garment is too large, that won’t be useful at all! Also, there are other factors to take into consideration–height, bone structure, etc. For some people, reaching a certain waist or bust size just might not be realistic. It’s very individualistic. Dieting tends to be an option only in the very rare case–it can still be useful for certain cases of fit! After all, if one just has to lose a bit of excess weight to wear a beautiful dress, it will be the dress with no extra cost incurred and no change to the garment.

Alterations can be used to take something in or let something out, but only within a certain range. If your measurements are drastically different from those of the original item, altering it will destroy the intended shape. It can be nearly impossible to find the right fabric to add inches by adding panels, especially if the dress in question uses unique fabric or details. Also, alterations require a certain level of seamstress ability–not everyone who knows how to sew can alter successfully. With an expensive or coveted clothing item, it’s important to do it right. If the alteration is badly accomplished, sometimes there’s no re-doing it!

However, alterations are generally a good idea if the garment is only slightly too large or slightly too small, and as long as you know you don’t plan to resell it. Anything tailored to someone’s specific measurements is very difficult to resell, unless you know there are lots of other people in your general size range.

Although I generally do not fit perfectly into most lolita items that I purchase from Japanese brand names, I usually don’t alter anything because the difference can be fixed in some other way. I wear extra layers to add bulk underneath, and use waist ties and corseting along with visual “tricks” to keep attention off areas where the improper fit is most obvious. As long as a few general rules are met–don’t tie the waist-ties so tight that the bodice “gapes” around you, make sure the skirt falls at approximately knee-length, and check that elements of the design aren’t exaggerated enough to look overwhelming–most on-lookers will never know!

This wasn’t the case with my recent purchase of a Metamorphose special set, consisting of a blouse and matching skirt. When I tried it on, I thought it fit wonderfully! When I decided to wear it for the first time, I realized it was huge! (I completely forgot that I had tried it on over the clothing I was already wearing, so once those extra garments were no longer underneath the difference was striking.) I loved it and desperately wanted to wear it, so I decided to have it altered. My little sister is a master in terms of garment construction, but she hates altering brand-name items in case the results aren’t exactly what she wanted. However, I talked her into it.

The blouse was the most difficult piece to alter. The skirt was very, very easy–we ripped the elastic out of the waistband and sewed a channel threaded with a shorter piece of elastic. Voila! The blouse was trickier. After some consideration, we decided to take in the front seams. It took some adjustment to get things just right. It looks much, much better now; I previously looked like a little kid dressed up in her grandmother’s clothes. I decided to alter these garments because I wanted to keep them for a long time, could not wear them as they were, and didn’t feel I would be “ruining” something too costly. (It’s much improved this way!)

Replicas are another option, but that really depends. Some people are incredibly moralistically opposed to replicas. I don’t mind it when someone copies something for their own personal use, but I dislike seeing replicas for sale beyond a commission request. After all, the design belongs to someone else–using it for profit seems wrong to me. I especially disagree with artwork, such as specialty prints, being replicated; I feel it infringes upon the rights of the artist. That said, it’s very difficult for someone who cannot wear a print but wants one very badly. I don’t think that he or she is a bad person for wanting, making, buying, or soliciting a replica–but I still don’t think that selling such a thing on a broad scale is right.

Replicas can be a difficult ground as well because it is very difficult to find a seamstress or tailor capable of creating a replica that can truly match the specifications of the original. Perhaps the sewer cannot find the right fabric or the right trim. In more drastic cases, the prospective creator of the replica may not have pattern drafting skills of a caliber to allow him or her to create a true copy of the original garment. When making or commissioning a replica, it’s important to make sure that whoever will be cutting and sewing the garment has the ability to accurately recreate it. You should also consider what is most important to you about the dress, to avoid disappointment in the (highly likely) even that the replica isn’t 100% identical to the original. Make sure that you know what to concentrate on or what to tell your commissioned seller.

There’s no easy, instant way to deal with a “dream dress” that only fits in your dreams. However, it isn’t a totally lost cause! Sometimes that dream can become a reality with a little bit of work~

And, out of curiosity, have you ever fallen in love with a lolita fashion item that wouldn’t fit? How did you deal with it–were you successful or did it just not work out?

On Being Lolita: Balancing “Real Life”

On Being Lolita: Balancing “Real Life”

by alice ♥ 2 Comments

Although I haven’t written in a while, I am certainly not going to stop making entries in this blog. I really do enjoy writing about lolita fashion and the things I like, even if I don’t necessarily go about it in a “normal” way for a blog. However, I just haven’t been able to really sit down and write something out, even if there are a million ideas tumbling around in my head!

Because, you see, as much as I love lolita fashion and being a lolita, it isn’t the only important thing in my life. I take graduate school courses, I work full time, and have other obligations to family and friends. Wearing lolita fashion is a lot of fun–going to meetups is one of my most favourite-est ways to see my friends and make new ones–but if I have to work or do homework, well…then that needs to be done instead. I know too well how it feels to fail at something only because I didn’t put enough effort forward, and I have resolved to not let myself waver and have to feel that way again.

In some ways, lolita fashion is a form of escapism for me. I am not a little girl any more, but wearing lolita fashion helps me feel that kind of blissful rapture again. In today’s world, innocence is not encouraged or held precious–there is so much pressure to grow up faster, take on responsibilities now, and immerse oneself completely in the cold, hard “real world.” So many times I have been chided for “not understanding how things work,” told to “get my head out of the clouds,” or lectured about how “adult women don’t act like that.” The kind of happiness that comes from just walking past someone’s front yard full of beautiful roses, seeing someone freely dancing to the music from their iPod that no-one else can hear, or standing out in the rain until you’re completely soaked and your eyelashes stick together is looked down on.

However, when I put up my hair in curled pigtails, step into a ribbon-bedecked one-piece, and adjust my petticoat, I feel electric. I don’t care what other people might have to say. I smile at everyone and wave at those who pretend they’re not staring in disbelief at my clothing. It’s like my heart is sparkling brightly with neon-pink glitter. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Wearing lolita fashion gives me a confidence that I rarely feel otherwise–and the longer I have been a part of the fashion and the community, the more that kind of feeling bleeds into my life even when I’m dressed in my dirty jacket and faded jeans.

As wonderful as that feeling is, I can’t ignore other parts of my life just because lolita makes me feel so fantastic. There are still classes to be attended, work to be done, and chores to be completed. Staying late at the office and then heading off to night-school, riding the unimaginably crowded bus home at night knowing I need to be at work bright and early the next morning sometimes leaves me without the energy to put my thoughts to paper. I sometimes stay up too late, reading the lolita fashion communities or Angelic Pretty’s blog entries, but my mind just isn’t in the right place to pen anything coherent. I keep going because I know that my courses at school and my job enable me to wear lolita–otherwise I would not have the funds or as much of the appreciation.

Obsession is dangerous no matter what the focus might be. Some people can only think about lolita fashion–wanting to wear it to any occasion, no matter how appropriate; needing to own the newest item, regardless of whether they can afford it; and insisting on attending every meetup, even if there are other things they ought to be doing instead. It’s easy to get hooked on almost anything, but it’s very important to take a step back and map out some priorities to keep yourself on track. I know that if I buy that newest print now, I won’t have money for rent at the end of the month–and that’s unacceptable for me. Will it matter how many pretty dresses I own if I am evicted? Absolutely not.

There is obviously a little bit of lolita in every part of my life, from the teddy bear-bedecked teacup at my desk at work to the small bows that might be perched atop my perhaps slightly more “business-like” hairstyle. I still keep a close eye on the lolita communities, typically browsing posts as I eat my sandwich for lunch, and I can’t keep from daydreaming about wished-for coordinations when I’m supposed to be calculating the future value of an annuity. However, there are always consequences, and I’d like to avoid the most unpleasant of those if possible. Otherwise I’m sure I’ll have even less time and energy to devote to the style I adore so much!

On Being Lolita: Lucky Pack Lessons

On Being Lolita: Lucky Pack Lessons

by alice ♥ 1 Comment

Lucky Pack Anticipation
Originally uploaded by sweetmilktea

Despite my historic lack of success with lucky packs, I couldn’t resist the recent lucky packs offered by BABY. I tried; I really did, but I thought my little sister was going to order one and I just had to get one for myself. We’re always trying to acquire matching items, although we’re not as successful as we’d like to be. I thought that with matching lucky packs we’d have at least some kind of chance for more matching items, but she didn’t end up ordering one.

And, as I actually did anticipate, I don’t care much for the contents of mine! Oh well~ It was still nice to get a package in the mail–especially one that contained something lolita fashion-related–after such a long period of having absolutely no spending money. (I love my job, even though I’ve been working a lot of overtime lately.)

I ordered the Snow Dot set, which was guaranteed to have either a Snow Dot jumperskirt or one-piece, then a random cutsew and random hair accessory.

I thought I would get a t-shirt, since that is the kind of cutsew that most people appear to have received, but that didn’t end up happening. (I was, stupidly, looking forward to a t-shirt to wear with my jeans…) Instead, my cutsew ended being a highly-shirred pink top with rows of lace. It’s cute, but anything with all-around shirring looks incredibly awkward and ill-fitting on me.

My hair accessory ended up being a really cute headband with a ruffle of black eyelet lace. On the right side there are two tiny bows of grosgrain ribbon~ It’s adorable, but I never wear black! I’ll probably pawn it off on my little sister, since she wears black and white almost exclusively.

The final piece was the Snow Dot jumperskirt, which is an absolutely lovely design, in their dark pink “cherry” colorway. I’m torn about this item. I really, really like the jumperskirt itself. The design of the Snow Dot series is why I ordered this lucky pack. However, the color is so dark that I don’t think I’ll really wear it very much. Unless I coordinated it entirely with white, I’d have to buy new items just to match it–and they wouldn’t match anything else I own. I like to keep my things in a general scheme so they coordinate with each other–it makes my wardrobe feel much bigger than it actually is. It’s disappointing to want to wear an outfit and think “Oh, darn–I need something to complete this…”

Maybe I’ve learned my lesson this time around with the lucky packs. …Or maybe I haven’t! I always think about the deals I might receive instead of the disappointments I’ve had in the past~

On Being Lolita: Is It a Lifestyle?

On Being Lolita: Is It a Lifestyle?

by alice ♥ 4 Comments

20070630 Algonquin Weekend
Originally uploaded by sweetmilktea

I do not consider myself a “lifestyle lolita.” This might seem odd, considering that I love eating sweets, drink tea excessively, abhor hard labor, fail miserably at athletics, enjoy learning about and trying old-fashioned fancy work, read Victorian novels, announce my advocacy for common decency, and try my best to be a proper young lady. My house is decorated in my tastes, with lots of white and pink–and rose motifs on my sheet sets and several pink quilts. The rice cooker we use almost every night is an official Hello Kitty product–just like my television, DVD player, some dishes, and several items in our bathroom. Even at this point in my life, I still indulge in fairy tales and think about living in a world that is a wonderful dream.

I am not a “lifestyle lolita” because this is how I have always been. I was this way before I wore lolita fashion. I will be this way whenever I no longer wear lolita fashion. I carry a rose-tinged romantic dream in my heart.

Thus, I do not object to the ultimate goal of those who call for a “lifestyle” to accompany the fashion. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live beautifully–if it enhances your enjoyment of life, embrace it! Suit your own tastes and support your own values. If you aren’t harming yourself or anyone else, you may as well enjoy what you have while you can have it–otherwise it is squandered.

However, I criticize the concept of a “lolita lifestyle.” The typical “lifestyle” that comes to mind is one in which a lolita eats only sweets, drinks only hot tea, does lady’s fancy work for pastimes (such as embroidery or tatting), avoids physical exertion, and decorates anywhere that can bear decoration with “cute” things. This is a blending of several extremes of misinterpreted Victoriana and the lives of the 18th century aristocracy–usually heavily influenced by court ways at Versailles. There is also a dash of the Japanese cultural obsession with “cute.” There is nothing uniquely pulled from the fashion style it is associated with.

None of these things are exclusively connected to lolita fashion. None of these things are really represented in the fashion itself–especially not when early lolita designs were evolving and separating from the “pink house” styles. There have been prints incorporating fairy tales, tea-time, Alice in Wonderland, etc.–which is perfectly normal, as these have all served as inspiration for designers of lolita fashion. However, these designers have been equally inspired by fruits (not the fashion–the edibles), crosses, churches, mermaids, and pirates–none of which are considered as part of a “lolita lifestyle.”

My criticism of the label of “lolita lifestyle” is three-fold. To begin with, it bears nothing to call its own. As I mentioned, many concepts are pulled from Victoriana–although without historical accuracy, which I attribute to a lack of research due to an initial obsession of the traditions at face-value. Other habits tend more towards the court-life of aristocrats, with formality and extravagance of certain customs–but, again, without in-depth considerations. As lolita fashion is Japanese, there are often Japanese cultural aspects added in (specifically those related to “cute”)–usually the most thoroughly-incorporated. I believe this is because many lolita have or once had interest in Japanese culture as a whole; thus more information was looked up and noted about the involved Japanese customs or inspirations.

Additionally, “lolita lifestyle” ignores all sub-styles of lolita fashion other than sweet lolita. The touted “lolita lifestyle” is much too childish for most classic lolita. Although these young ladies may appreciate many of the Victorian aspects from the lifestyle, it would not be fitting for them to eat cake all day or decorate their homes with stuffed animals–were they trying to “act” their clothing, their pastimes would be more refined and elegant. And what of the gothic lolita? Their attire (and often their preferences towards the dark and macabre, hence their clothing tastes) is better suited to a dark, candle-lit cavern with a midnight “breakfast” served atop a closed coffin–as was once addressed briefly in a humorous one-page article of the Gothic & Lolita Bible. Punk lolita, rebels at heart, would be more likely to upset a tea party than sit quietly for it. (These are all stereotypical descriptions for emphasis.)

However, my deepest-felt objection to the “lolita lifestyle” is that it is simply a rehashing and expansion of the ideals of the character Momoko from Takemoto Novala’s Kamikaze Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari). Momoko is obsessed with “Rococo,” mistaking the style of art and design for a time period. She incorporates several shallow aspects of Victorian culture as well, although her focus is 18th century France. She eats only sweets, disdains athleticism, and lies to and cheats her foolish father to acquire money to spend on her wardrobe. Although the book is very enjoyable, I don’t think people should restrict themselves to a fictional character’s ideals. One person cannot be dictate a fashion’s associated lifestyle.

Thankfully most “lifestyle lolita” don’t exist solely on Momoko’s ideals, but it is clear that she has set the example. Novala’s other writings sometimes expand on this subject, as he has many thoughts on what a lolita should and should not be, but he places emphasis on doing lolita because it is what YOU want, not what society insists on. With this in mind, drones of Momoko-clones blindly following what she had set forth would certainly not be his purpose for writing Kamikaze Girls. Insisting that lolita fashion has a well-defined ideal of a lifestyle is only true if Novala’s writings are to be considered. There is not much else that focuses on this topic other than input from those who follow those ideas–no other source insists on a “lifestyle.”

Thus I believe that the label of “lolita lifestyle” is misleading. It would be better said as “living romantically” or “Momoko lifestyle.” Either is more suitable depending on the inspiration for the person attempting to live such a life–although it should be noted that even the character Momoko followed her Rococo-dusted ways before discovering lolita fashion. That said, there’s nothing wrong with taking inspiration from a book! There’s nothing wrong with filling your life with beautiful things! There’s no reason to be ashamed of appreciating old-fashioned aspects of other cultures, or from mish-mashing things you like together! It’s your life, and even though others can tell you how to live it, you don’t have to listen to them.

Ultimately, the “lolita lifestyle” offers nothing uniquely and absolutely connected to the fashion, and that is why I dislike the phrase.

On Being Lolita: Lucky Pack Madness

On Being Lolita: Lucky Pack Madness

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Lucky Pack season is always one of the most hectic times of the lolita calendar year. Until recently, that season was only at the end of the year, when Lucky Packs were offered by Japanese stores than just lolita fashion retailers. This summer, however, that has been far from true–several brands have been releasing Lucky Packs during the summer. BABY, the Stars Shine Bright was the last to offer these secret packages, both online and in their new store in San Francisco, USA.

Lucky Packs have always intrigued me. As a little girl I would often buy a “secret bag” from the Sanrio store–paying a few dollars for a decorated paper shopping bag without knowing what kind of small items I could look forward to. Even now, I get excited about the possible savings to be had from purchasing a Lucky Pack AND the mystery and surprise of not knowing what items will be unwrapped. (A Lucky Pack is a sealed bag full of a certain yen-value of clothing and accessories, purchased at a VASTLY discounted rate because the buyer does not know which items will be in the package!)

Despite how much I love Lucky Packs, Lucky Packs do NOT like me. I purchased a few at the beginning of my involvement in lolita fashion–one from Metamorphose and one from Angelic Pretty.

The Metamorphose pack contained a white short-sleeved blouse, mocha bloomers, and a black velvet skirt. The skirt had an elastic waistband too large for me, and the fabric was SO heavy that it pulled itself right off–even over my petticoat! I kept the blouse, as it was one of the first blouses I owned, but it wasn’t really my style and didn’t really fit properly. The blommers were the one thing I kept–the color doesn’t match anything I own, but they’re super-comfy and have gorgeous mocha lace at the bottom.

I found the Angelic Pretty bag on Yahoo!Japan Auctions. I didn’t worry too much about buying it, because I had seen Lucky Pack contents–which were lovely matching sets of a hairbow, one-piece, socks, and a totebag. I thought I’d be safe…but I wasn’t! My Lucky Pack had a different one-piece in the black x white colorway, two gray tartan hairbows in different styles with different patterns of tartan, and a tan totebag with a pastel blue print. Nothing matched, and nothing really suited me. I ended up giving most items to my little sister; we eventually traded one-pieces and she absolutely ADORES the one she got from me.

Despite this, I found myself really tempted by the Lucky Packs offered by BABY, the Stars Shine Bright. I like the sets they offer, although I worry that my poor luck would strike again, giving me items in a colorway I won’t enjoy wearing. At the same time, there’s a chance to get some really lovely items at a greatly reduced price. I actually have a little bit of spending money again (although I ought to keep saving it up just in case of emergencies), and there’s something so tempting about getting more wardrobe items.

On Being Lolita: Keeping the Sparkle in Your Heart

On Being Lolita: Keeping the Sparkle in Your Heart

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Although I’m sure there are many lolita who would love to build a frothy cocoon around their lives, living in a bubble of a sweet, romantic dream, harsher aspects of life tend to creep up on us. It’s hard to truly feel lolita—even if you know that it glitters in your heart like a brilliant gemstone—when bad things keep happening and the beauties of life seem dim or nonexistent. Sometimes I don’t have a chance to wear my much-beloved frills; it can feel like other parts of my life continually conflict with meetups, preventing me from seeing my friends; or a lack of funds can make Angelic Pretty’s constant new releases feel like torture. At times like that, the sparkle in my heart is tarnished.

That sort of thing has certainly been happening to me lately—financial assistance troubles make even a dream of buying something new feel like a cruel joke. My new work schedule and just-beginning courses keep me occupied all week with absolutely no chance to get dressed up. (I can’t really wear it at work, and I certainly don’t want to wear it to graduate school—I don’t want to be judged based only on my clothing.) Additionally, my best friend is getting married in a few days; various planning and pre-wedding activities have kept my weekends booked. My family also likes to commit to various get-togethers or special events without letting me know until the very last minute. I’ve seen so many pictures of meetups I haven’t been able to attend. Additionally, being very sick for several weeks with one thing or another certainly takes away any pretty, fluffy lolita feelings.

However, I don’t despair! I won’t! If lolita fashion truly makes you happy, don’t give it up when you feel down—it’s exactly the sort of thing you need more of in your life. I try to rekindle that warm glow little by little. Some things that might help:

  • Wear a piece of your favourite jewelry with an otherwise “normal” outfit. A cute cupcake or unicorn necklace can put a smile on your face during the rest of a dull day. So can elegant earrings, a quirky pin, or a charm bracelet. Or clip a charm onto or inside your purse for something really stealthy~
  • Bring tea, hot chocolate, or whatever your favourite beverage is with you in a pretty thermos! Even water is a little more fun if the bottle has some attitude. If you don’t own a thermos or re-usable bottle and don’t want to scout one out a Sanrio (or even your grocery store), put some fun little stickers on your drink cup, can, or bottle—or draw lolita-esque symbols on it with permanent markers.
  • Similarly, decorate something you use every day! This can be a full-on decoden project with false whipped cream and tiny fake sweets, or just an embellishment or two that’s to your liking. The pens I always carry with me to work and school are already pastel and glittery (despite writing with standard black ink), but I like to put stickers on the caps for a little something extra~
  • Paint your fingernails. As long as it isn’t prohibited (perhaps if you work in food service without gloves), there are all kinds of polishes out there for any budget. (And most people have some nail polish lurking in their bedrooms or bathrooms anyway…) Pick your favourite color and change it whenever you’ve got a little spare time. Don’t worry if you don’t already have beautiful fingernails—take a moment to trim them neatly and file the edges, and that should be plenty of preparation. After all, bolder colors are less overwhelming on shorter nails.
  • Wear a pretty lip gloss. It’s low-maintenance, and there’s sure to be a colour that suits your situation and appeals to your taste. A little glitter can be fun, or maybe you’d prefer a delicious scent or flavour!
  • Call a friend! Even if you text all day, sometimes hearing the voice of someone you love, even for a few moments, can really add a spring to your step. Even something for a few moments, in-between running to catch a bus, can be a lot of fun. If you don’t get through, leave a silly message with the request for them to call back. (This one is fun because you’re not the only person who benefits!)
  • Add some silly thoughts to your day—even better if they’re lolita-themed. Picture your boss in over-the-top Angelic Pretty (maybe the new Bambi series?) or your classmates wearing headdresses. Maybe design—in a doodle in the margin of your notes or on a Post-It at work—a lolita outfit specifically for a particular person. A pirate-themed dress for that guy in the other cubicle? Or maybe your teacher in some kind of lace monstrosity? (Just don’t label it or write down their name! It would certainly be hard to explain if Joe wanted to know what was going on.)
  • Tuck a treat into your bag. It could be anything from your favourite cookie (maybe in a napkin tied up with ribbon) to a few pieces of bacon—what it the item is doesn’t matter as long as it gives you something to look forward to. A decorative lunch, perhaps trying your hand at bento, can also add a bright turn.

Most of my suggestions are obviously not directly lolita, but that’s because it’s up to you to pick whatever makes you think of that thing you love. Replicate Momoko’s lunch (as long as all those sweets won’t make you sick), draw a crown on one fingernail with a gold gel pen after applying sparkly pink polish, pack lunch in your BABY, the Stars Shine Bright shopping bag, or tie a red ribbon and strawberry charm on your USB drive. It certainly doesn’t take much time at all to do at least one thing, and having something to smile about can put any day into a totally different perspective.

My yesterday certainly wasn’t going too well, but writing this post reminded me to enjoy my silly, glittery pens (especially since earlier, an older gentleman sitting next to me in class borrowed one!) and enjoy the delicious slice of Boston crème Oreo pie that was waiting for me at home! (Not to mention having a very kind-hearted person to cuddle up against.)

On Being Lolita: The First Meetup

On Being Lolita: The First Meetup

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

There’s nothing quite as intimidating and exciting as doing something new for the very first time. This certainly includes attending a lolita fashion meetup. Regardless of whether the meetup is something casual, like a picnic in the park or an afternoon at someone’s house, or a formal occasion like an afternoon tea, it can still cause uneasiness for that of a fledgling lolita (or a veteran who is simply new to the area!).

I often reflect on my first meetup, which certainly caused me a lot of anxiety! I worked up the courage to attend a picnic downtown, since I at least knew the area although I did not know any of the attendees. However, I committed to attending the picnic knowing that did not own any lolita clothing. Although I owned many cute or girly items, I was painfully aware that they were not lolita outfits.

First, my grandmother said she would help me make something. Her attitude was a bit different after realizing that the pattern I intended to use was in some Japanese magazine with no English instructions. We bought the materials anyway, but couldn’t figure out where to start–and never even cut out the pattern pieces. When I explained my distress to my mother, unwilling to ask any more from my grandmother (who has certainly put up with quite a bit of nonsense from me), she took me back to the fabric store and we tried to find a suitable commercially-available pattern.

The night before the picnic, the two of us huddled over a sewing machine on the kitchen table, trying desperately to decipher the confusing instructions for making a simple skirt. The pattern pieces that we cut out seemed awkward and unlike what was required from us. Repeatedly we sewed a seam, examined it, and ripped the stitching out. Finally, at some early hour of the morning, my mother gave up and insisted I would wear something normal–as this new skirt was not to be. I went to bed in tears, convinced that everyone would make fun of me and determined to avoid the picnic at all costs.

However, my mother woke me up the next morning and pushed me onto the train despite my protests. She chided me for my cowardice, saying that I had been so excited, already made the cupcakes I had promised to bring, and if “these people” were going to be mean for about something so trivial they weren’t worth knowing anyway. I honestly think it was the best way she could have handled the situation. If I had been allowed to stay at home and mope, I would have missed out on so much!

At the picnic, no one mentioned my outfit–even so I constantly repeated that I was not wearing a lolita outfit and I knew it wasn’t a lolita outfit oh-please-oh-please-don’t-think-I’m-the-sort-of-person-who-doesn’t-know-what-she’s-doing-I-really-like-this-style-please-don’t-hate-me-you-are-all-so-experienced-and-wise. The weather was lovely, and the food was quite tasty.

It was because of that picnic that I met several people I now feel proud to call friends. (Including one who was also my roommate for over a year.) No-one was rude or cruel, and it gave me the courage and initiative to work on a new outfit and come to another meetup, where I would meet even more wonderful friends~! ♥

Don’t let fear keep you away from something that interests you! Even if you aren’t wearing a coordinate that looks like you stepped out of a BABY, the Stars Shine Bright advertisement, even if your hair isn’t “that perfect hime cut,” even if you aren’t an adorable teenage Japanese girl, even if you hate drinking tea–go to a meetup. Find out what the lolita in your area are really like. Search for that “nice” lolita, and keep an ear open for what everyone else has to say. Ask for opinions, join in conversations, and try to make some new friends!

The first meetup is scary, but you can’t get to know people without meeting them first!

On Being Lolita: Downpour Dollies

On Being Lolita: Downpour Dollies

by alice ♥ 1 Comment

As I battled my way to work in a steady rainshower and then almost swam home in a downpour that literally had me wringing out my socks at home, it got me thinking about the value of having appropriate and cute lolita-esque “rainwear!” Personally, I am an advocate of rainboots/galoshes/Wellingtons/rubberboots/topboots/gumboots~ Having wet feet can really ruin a nice walk in the rain. (Besides, puddles are made for splashin’~) Rainwater can damage certain shoes, as well, whether it’s from dirt in the water or just from the moisture.

Lolita shoes, in particular, are really not intended for water. Man-made materials and glue compromises the majority of lolita footwear. Pleather does not hold up well to water, and walking through the run-off from a downpour could easily weaken glue or the soles of certain shoes. There might be some shoes that can hold up to getting wet, but certainly not every pair! Personally, I try to take very good care of my lolita shoes.

Cute rainboots are a fantastic alternative! They also are quite handy to have even if you’re not wearing lolita. Typically rainboots last quite a long time before they wear out, since they aren’t worn every day; so one pair can last for years! Printed and patterned rainboots have been very popular for the last few years or so–they’re quite easy to find if you just take a look around. Most shoe stores, department stores, and big-box retailers carry rainboots at various times of the year. I think they’re seen more often in the spring, but they’re not too hard to find during autumn. Target.com always has a wide selection of rainboots–most pairs for $25! Chooka boots come in some amazing patterns and designs, although they often retail for $60. Swimmer makes rainboots in all kinds of cute patterns, although you’d need a shopping service to buy a pair–after fees and shipping, they might be very costly! My rainboots were only $5 from a clearance display at Macy’s 2 years ago. You’ve just got to keep your eyes open~

Sweet lolita can easily find a cute pair of rainboots–maybe even something from the children’s section if your feet are small enough. (However, children’s rainboots are shorter than adult rainboots, which limits the depths of puddles you can safely stomp in.) There are lots of bright or pastel-coloured rainboots, often with patterns like ribbons, animals, or candies.

Gothic lolita need not fear–although Moi-même-Moitié hasn’t made a pair of rainboots yet, there are still suitable pairs out there! Black rainboots are very popular–especially from high-end designers who add their own touches that might appeal to a blacker heart. Skulls (with or without crossbones) are a very popular motif for rainboots.

Classic lolita might fancy floral-patterned rainboots, such as these Autumn Wellingtons from the Victorian Trading Company. Richer colours of solid-hued rainboots can also seem fitting for a classic lolita–especially if the rainboots come in ivory. A contrasting sole adds a nice touch without seeming too inelegant. Although rainboots do not have a sophisticated shape, wearing them is much better than ruining a pair of beautiful shoes.

Umbrellas are also important! Some parasols are also waterproof, thus doubling as rain protection. Otherwise, having a few cute umbrellas certainly cannot hurt! Museums, gardens, or art shops sometimes sell umbrellas with beautiful patterns that would delight a classic lolita. (Or perhaps scout around for a lovely antique–as long as it’s waterproof.) “Cute” umbrellas aren’t hard to find at all–especially with stores like as Sanrio or Swimmer catering to such a sect of umbrella-buyers. Gothic-themed umbrellas might take a little bit more searching, but they are certainly available. Crosses and skulls are fairly popular motifs–checking stores catering to punk or goth tastes often yields some results.

Raincoats would be wonderful–I regularly dream of a lolita raincoat that will fit a petticoat-fluffed skirt–but they are incredibly difficult to find. Trenchcoats can sometimes be worn with lolita, but typically the skirt of the coat is just not full enough to fully protect a bell-shaped skirt from the rain. Certain other cuts of coats might fit a petticoat, but typically these coats are very shapeless and look very unflattering when ballooned out at the bottom. (However, that’s certainly better than ruining a garment you really adore!) A poncho almost always fits over lolita…but it’s definitely not adhering to the aesthetics of the fashion~ ♥

I also make it a rule to never wear my favourite socks in a rainstorm. Even with a great pair of boots, some rain inevitably gets in there, and the friction and dampness of continued walking has killed many a pair of my socks. I get attached to cute socks, so I hate seeing a pair fall apart!