Category: on being lolita

On Being Lolita: Anime, Manga, and Jrock

On Being Lolita: Anime, Manga, and Jrock

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

fushigi boshi no futago hime gyu

Although lolita fashion is Japanese, I think there is a common misconception that it is deeply entwined with anime, manga, or jrock, and thus all lolita enthusiasts share a common hobby in those areas. I believe this kind of automatic association arises because there are many lolita who discovered the fashion due to an interest in the stage costumes worn by many jrock and visual kei performers or frillier outfits often noted as “lolita” in certain anime and manga series. However, not all lolita share these interests, just as not all lolita share a love of Victoriana or tea-time.

There’s nothing wrong with being a fan of a certain series or band, but it wouldn’t be right to assume that all other lolita you’ll encounter will share your passion. You certainly will meet some that do, so there’s no reason to feel ashamed or avoid the mention. However, a conversation that jumps right in and requires all participants to be fans of a given series or band can be confusing to those lolita who wouldn’t call themselves otaku.

There are some undeniable associations, such as the musician and designer Mana, formerly of Malice Mizer and currently of Moi~dix~Mois, who helped popularize gothic lolita fashion with his label, Moi-même-Moitié. DOLL, a manga series by Mitsukazu Mihara, features many characters dressed in lolita fashion–unsurprising, as the artist regularly creates artwork for the Gothic & Lolita Bible. Many other series use elements of lolita fashion in their characters’ attire. It would be silly to deny any link between these interests and lolita fashion, and I’m certainly not going to do so. However, not all aspects of Japanese culture are mutually inclusive. It is not necessary to like Japanese food to wear lolita clothing, nor required to enjoy listening to jpop to learn the language. There are some people who adore the culture as a whole, but not everyone shares that view.

Personally, although I’ve seen more than my fair share of anime series (my father is a Japanophile who spurred my own love of many aspects of Japanese culture), I’m really not interested in anime or manga as a whole. I’ve also listened to some jrock, but it doesn’t keep my attention. I always feel a bit embarrassed when I have to admit I just don’t know what someone is talking about when they break into a long analysis of a series I’ve never heard of.

It’s always important to keep in mind that every lolita is a whole, complete person. She is neither exactly like another lolita nor totally dissimilar. It’s important not to assume that because you share a fashion style you will share all other personality traits and interests. After all, variety is what makes people interesting and places value into friendships!

On Being Lolita: Affording Indulgence

On Being Lolita: Affording Indulgence

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

One of the discussions that appears with relative frequency involves paying for high-priced lolita clothing. Most girls who have just fallen in love with a frilly, decadent dress–not knowing anything about the fashion–rethink their impulse when they learn of the price tag. I believe this is due to the somewhat materialistic nature of most modern cultures; if someone sees something they like, they want to own it–but usually not if it gets in the way of their owning other items. Additionally, a lot of people seem to take the high-priced items in their lives for a bit for granted; I constantly spot teenagers carrying designer handbags and wearing $200 denim or little children carrying around their own iPhones.

Personally, the high price of lolita clothing never seemed shocking to me. My parents provided necessities in my life (and the occasional treat), but stressed that if there was something else I wanted I ought to pay for it. As a child this meant doing extra chores above and beyond normal helping around the house, since my brother and I never received allowance. In high school I did some babysitting and applied for a part-time job as soon as I was of age. When I discovered lolita fashion, I knew that I would have to save up.

“Affording” lolita clothing is simple–earn money in some way possible for your age and abilities and use part of it to buy clothing. Younger lolita-hopefuls can hold garage sales, baby-sit, save up Christmas & birthday money, mow lawns, wash cars, or walk dogs. Older enthusiasts can work at various jobs. Crafters can try to sell their products or commission their services. It just take some effort and planning!

However, wearing lolita fashion is a bit like becoming a musician. The items you really want are often expensive (an ESP guitar or Baby, the Stars Shine Bright dress), but there are inexpensive options available (a pawn-shop instrument or something from an eBay seller). Sometimes, you can find an amazing bargain. Other times, you might be dissatisfied with the lower-priced item. What you have to decide is what matters to you. Is the status symbol of a Japanese brand important? Do you want as many outfits as you can possibly get, regardless of quality? Do you want a little bit of each side?

This choice determines how you will have to budget yourself. If you prefer buying Japanese brands, you’ll have to save up more, perhaps spacing purchases out a bit. You’ll want to look for used or otherwise second-hand goods at places such as egl_comm_sales on LiveJournal. Overseas shipping will always be on your mind, and you’ll probably become well acquainted with at least one shopping service. If you want the most inexpensive garments, you’ll test different eBay stores, learn all of the lower-priced seamstresses, or take up sewing yourself. Neither is more “affordable” than the other, because the true value of the clothing is determined by your opinion.

Despite the constant echoing of how expensive lolita fashion is, it’s really no different from having any other higher-priced hobby. Unless you are extremely lucky, there will be things you want that you will have to wait and work and search for. That is a fact of life–especially when you have other bills and obligations beyond personal interests.

And that’s why I’m typing this from somewhere other than the comfort of my own home~ ♥

On Being Lolita: Thoughts on Frilly Friendship

On Being Lolita: Thoughts on Frilly Friendship

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The thing that makes lolita fashion dearest to me are all of the amazing friends I have met because of it. Dressing in lolita really helped me learn more about myself and become a stronger person; participating in the community helped me realize my value as a person and form trusting relationships with other people. Prior to my involvement with the style, I had very few friends. My school years weren’t spent as an outcast, but I didn’t have many people I could truly call friends. It wasn’t until I started interacting with the other lolita that I realized how insincere my former “friends” were.

I am always glad that I worked up the courage to go to lolita fashion meetups. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t know the fantastic people who I constantly spend time with regardless of what we’re wearing. They aren’t my “lolita friends.” They are my friends. ♥

Some girls go to lolita meetups with a mentality that they will find “lolita friends.” While it is important to share hobbies with others, I think that limiting yourself to having a specific category of friend is self-defeating. It is hard to form a lasting, trusting relationship with only one facet of a person. A person is not one-dimensional, and no-one should have to act ashamed of their hobbies or interests. Don’t be afraid to be yourself!

Obviously, some people may not share your interests. That’s alright. None of my friends are completely obsessed with everything I am, nor am I with their activities. What matters is properly expressing your personality, so that others who really want to be around you will realize it! When someone is holding back or trying to act in a way that is unnatural to herself, it always shows in one way or another. Being honest is the only real way to maintain a strong relationship. It’s hard to be friends with someone if they’re just putting on a show–how do you know you would still enjoy the company of the person underneath?

That’s not to say that it’s not right to have friends you only see at meetups. There are some people that I enjoy the company of, but life just works out so that we only interact when wearing lolita fashion. They are still wonderful people, and I still get excited to spend time with them. Sometimes it even seems a bit special if there is someone you see rarely, because there’s more to catch up on. What isn’t useful is setting yourself up to prevent forming deeper relationships with others by pidgeon-holing them into a certain mold–“lolita friend”–before even getting to know that other person!

On Being Lolita: Dry Cleaning

On Being Lolita: Dry Cleaning

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Dry Cleaned Blouses
Originally uploaded by sweetmilktea

I don’t trust myself to wash some of my more detailed and more expensive pieces of clothing. Certain lolita garments are hand-washable, but I worry about colors bleeding or stains getting set in. Considering that I tend to climb just about anything that might have foot-holds, love dessert–no matter how messy, and can sometimes fall asleep in awkward places, my lolita clothing does not stay neat and pristine forever. To avoid unduly damage, I take my things to the dry cleaners.

However, it’s very important to find a reputable dry cleaner! Not all places use the same cleaning methods, chemicals, or level of care. Having an expensive, beloved jumperskirt meet its demise at the hands of someone who was supposed to clean it is very upsetting.

Right now I rely on Briar Cleaners or K M Cleaners. (K M Cleaners houses the dry-cleaning plant; both locations are owned by the same person.) They’ve been cleaning a fellow lolita’s clothing for years, and take exquisite care of every garment that passes through their hands. I’ve seen them remove old, set-in stains, and I’ve never lost a button, ribbon, or detachable piece. Not to mention that they press everything very well, so I don’t have to re-do it myself once at home. They even do alterations~

The price is higher than some of the other cleaners, but I don’t trust my lolita clothing to anyone else’s hands. They even cleaned my BABY, the Stars Shine Bright bunny pochette~ I kept trying to clean Mallow myself without much in the way of results. When I brought that purse in, they said they’d have to take him over and call me back. That call came only a few hours later, and they confirmed that they could clean him. He hasn’t looked this good since I unwrapped him from the original shipping box!

If you’re going to test out a new dry cleaner, make sure that the first lolita garment isn’t something too detailed. Avoid something with fake pearls, paste jewels, or any other dangling pieces that aren’t removable, as they can be melted or eaten away at due to chemicals or heat. Be upfront with the clerks at the dry cleaner, and ask if they think they can clean it. If your response is frowning and a stress that there is no guarantee, you should consider taking your clothing elsewhere. You may want to take a few detailed pictures of the item as proof of what it looked like before it was taken in for cleaning, just in case anything happens.

Once the item is returned to you, inspect it for any burns, tears, stains, or bleeding before you even leave the shop. If you have a complaint, you want to make it as soon as possible. Then, check to see how well it was cleaned, if there is any residue that you dislike the feel or smell of, and how the lace was ironed. If you’re generally satisfied, the next step is to have them clean something more detailed. Lolita clothing is usually much more expensive to dry clean than non-lolita clothing, so you definitely want to get your money’s worth!

Also, talk to other lolita in your area! Ask where they like to have their things cleaned–maybe there’s an experienced cleaner that you didn’t even know of.

On Being Lolita: Laundry Day

On Being Lolita: Laundry Day

by alice ♥ 1 Comment

All garments benefit from proper cleaning techniques. The wrong temperature water can have a drastic effect on certain fabrics or trims. Colors may bleed, stains become set, or tears exaggerated. Lolita clothing is far from affordable, and even if you own inexpensive garments from Bodyline, Anna House, or one of the many TaoBao sellers it’s still a shame to ruin something by laundering it improperly.

The easiest garments to wash, in my opinion, are petticoats, socks, and bloomers. Jumperskirts, one-pieces, blouses, and other items typically require more attention–usually very careful handwashing or dry cleaning. Socks tend to get dirtier than any other item, especially if one is the type of lolita who perhaps is not terribly ladylike. …Not that I know anyone like that, of course.

Socks

Most socks, even expensive socks from Japanese brands, can be safely machine washed. There are two things to watch out for when washing socks–colorfastness and lace. This is more pertinent in the case of dark socks with white lace. An easy way to test colorfastness is dampen and apply the detergent you hoped to use on less noticeable part of the sock–such as under the foot. Then, rub a white rag against it. If the color transfers onto the white rag, it is not colorfast and should be washed separately. (Soaking in vinegar and salt is an old trick to help keep colors from bleeding out of an item.)

It is also important to check the lace on your socks. Ironing the lace back into place can be tedious, but there’s no need to do so if you are careful.

If your socks aren’t bleeding, you can safely wash them in the washing machine on the delicate cycle. I always wash with cold water to avoid fading. As always, wash with like colors just in case of any bleeding. I put my socks in a mesh lingerie bag to keep them from getting caught on anything inside the machine and bent out of shape. If your socks aren’t colorfast you can still wash them alone, but their color might fade if they aren’t treated. If they have contrasting lace or an intricate pattern, it might be safer to spot-treat or dry clean, unless you trust yourself to clean them by hand.

Most lolita socks look nicest if they are laid flat to dry instead of tumbling in a dryer. Smoothing the wrinkles out can really improve their appearance. This is most important for lace! Don’t dry lace-topped socks in the dryer unless crumpled lace doesn’t bother you. I always smooth out the lace with my fingers until it is laying neatly–it dries best that way.

Bloomers

In my opinion, bloomers are the easiest garment to wash. I’ve never run across a pair that couldn’t be machine washed and dried–unless you own bloomers made of the silk Mana spins from his own hair. Simply wash and dry with like colors. I like to use a mesh lingerie bag to keep ribbons or trim from getting caught on other clothing.

Petticoats

There are generally two types of petticoats in lolita fashion. Petticoats should be categorized by fabric type–usually tulle/netting or organdie/organza. Both kinds can be safely machine washed on the delicate cycle with cold water.

However, tulle petticoats benefit from being washed in a large mesh lingerie bag, to keep the tulle from tearing. It is very useful to starch tulle or netting petticoats, as well, as they provide better support to skirts when stiffened by starch. This can be accomplished either afterwards with spray-starch or during the washing cycle with a starch added to the washing water. Tulle petticoats can be dried in an electric drier, but only with extreme caution–they will melt if the heat is too high! Hanging a tulle petticoat upside-down to dry helps it stay nice and fluffy.

Organdie or organza petticoats don’t need the protection of a mesh bag, and they usually clean more thoroughly when washed separately. They also don’t require starch, since they rely on volume, not stiffness, to provide their poof. They can be tumbled dry on low to medium heat with very nice results–it leaves them fluffier than hanging them up to dry~

I actually enjoy washing my lolita clothing. It makes me feel accomplished to see things become so neat and clean, and I hate to wear dirty things~

On Being Lolita: Luxury vs. Necessity

On Being Lolita: Luxury vs. Necessity

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

“Give me the luxuries of life, and I will willingly do without the necessities.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

Several years ago I read this quote, and soon jotted down a hasty jumble of thoughts on how I related the saying to lolita fashion. When re-reading some old entries in my personal journal and reflecting on how far my life has come thus far, I crossed over my old composition. I still believe it to be true, and thought this would be a capital place to share a neatened-up version of my old writing.

This aforementioned quote often comes to mind when I reflect on lolita fashion, which seems an epitome of luxury. Clothing is a necessity, to keep bodies warmed and covered. Lolita fashion is barely suited for the latter! The style idealizes luxury as opposed to necessity: the clothing is beautiful, expensive, and decadent. It is not suited to protection from the elements. It cannot stand up to the daily chores of life. The intent is to project an image of removal from most aspects of the real world.

Even with seasonal adjustments, lolita fashion only suits itself to one type of weather–mild. In blazing heat the layers of detailed clothing is oppressive and stifling; in frigid flurries those layers seem ineffective in keeping out the bone-chilling cold. It is possible to dress to alleviate these problems: long-sleeve blouses, no knee socks, mittens and scarves, or fewer petticoats. However, these alterations are designed by resourceful wearers of the fashion, not necessarily the designs of the fashion. Lolita maintain their appearance diligently in inclement weather, but there is a difference indeed between a lolita attired in her finest and a lolita bundled up for winter survival.

It is not suited to daily work. Washing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, or shaking out rugs in lolita fashion is awkward. The poofy skirts squish in an unflattering manner when pressed up against the sink, making the surface fully available for spills and drips. Kneeling on the floor risks dirtying one’s socks and the skirt that is sure to brush across that floor. It is not impossible to do housework in lolita, but no lolita would wear her best dress for the activity! Pulling weeds in lolita would seem an open invitation for a dirt and grass-stained skirt and sweat-stained bodice. This is because lolita fashion is not intended as every-day wear for average people. The influences of the style draw heavily from aristocrats of the 18th century and middle- or upper-class Victorians who would have servants to do their menial tasks. The lolita is not supposed to partake of these activities.

The quote most strongly applies to the many girls and guys who pride themselves on being lolita. Few people have the idle income to be at their lolita finest every day, with a vast array of costly garments, decorated fingernails that impede certain activities, immaculately-styled hair and makeup unmarred by heavy work, or exquisite shoes ill-suited for much walking. Most lolita work, typically in environments where they cannot wear their frills, and have other expenses beyond clothing. She must scale back on some things to afford to buy clothing, attend meetups, and pamper herself in her own “lolita” way.

Thus a real-life lolita balances the luxuries with the necessities. Should she save up for a new dress, or see a movie? Or go out for dinner? Or purchase other clothes? Or pay the bills, perhaps? Often it is very tempting to result to harmful tactics, like credit-card debt or even fraud, in an attempt to enjoy the very best of both worlds. A lolita that conducts herself minimally when living as her day-to-day civilian disguise can dress herself to perfection, surround herself with opulence, and indulge in the manifestation of the dream-world.

My father often says, “We go big, or we don’t go at all.” I fully agree. I would rather enjoy the things I do enjoy exquisitely, and do away with the rest, rather than have a little of each but none of the best. It becomes a mix of miserly and overindulgent–an empty refrigerator and a full closet. I love extravagant things, but I must chose. A fancy meal or a new cutsew? Even when money is so tight that clothing purchases are best not considered, there are always places to cut back just enough to have a bit of spending-money for something luxurious, like a specialty cupcake or admission to a museum.

That is the state of the lolita, who would rather enjoy herself to the fullest than walk the fence between extravagance and essentials. She does not exist at a steady yet dull level, but flares up every so often like a dying star, returning to the colder, dimmer state when that bit of energy has been expanded.

On Being Lolita: Prints on the Rise

On Being Lolita: Prints on the Rise

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

As the fashion has evolved over the years, specialty prints–where a company creates special artwork and has it worked onto the fabric before the garments are made with it–haven taken over for most of the sweet lolita brand-names. There is a certain allure to prints, for they are both artwork in their own right and a status symbol.

Each print begins with an idea, transmitted to an artist, who then illustrates the desired image. However, printed fabric does not often show a simple picture repeated over and over again; the desired effect is usually a continuing, fluid series of images that can cover as much of the surface as possible. A typical border print, where most of the artwork is concentrated just along the edge of the fabric (typically used along the bottom edge of a skirt), may require several separately designed pieces that are then carefully arranged together for a final print on the full dimensions of the fabric. An all-over print, on the other hand, requires a different skill to make sure that the continuous design matches up correctly to repeat endlessly.

The effort of the artist shines through in a garment made with a specialty print. It gives the piece more adornment without any other materials. A typical jumperskirt might add interest to the skirt portion with pintucks, ribbon-bows, or ruffles, but a jumperskirt with a border print does not, to keep attention focused upon the crafted illustrations near the edge. Decorative touches on a one-piece with all-over print can increase the opulence of the dress until it seems like a frosted wedding cake!

However, prints are also used as a status symbol. A specialized print conveys the same message as a large logo–and indeed, most prints contain the company’s logo tucked away in the pattern! It lets everyone who recognizes lolita fashion know which company your outfit is from. Additionally, prints are usually hard-to-find, as they are popular with many lolita and often sell out during the reservation period, leaving only a few items to wind up on store shelves.

Several years ago, prints were rather uncommon. Now they are released in an almost-constant stream! Each company seems to aim to out-do the other with over-the-top ideas, bold colors, and eye-catching artwork.

Most prints haven’t impressed me very much, but now that I own a recent print I couldn’t help thinking more about them. I love looking at the dress hung in my closet, bedecked with cherries, strawberries, bunny silhouettes, and Angelic Pretty emblems on the bodice and skirt. The enormous fluffy bunnies border-printed along the bottom catch my attention so that I notice every detail–long eyelashes, massive tails, a hint of blush. The fascination is only slightly different than how I feel looking at a beloved one-piece or skirt, but a print draws attention differently; it offers drawings to examine instead of design elements to fawn over.

Neither is any better or worse than the other, despite the higher sum a popular printed item might fetch on resale. Prints add modernity to lolita fashion, further removing it from historical accuracy. I believe this is natural for a modern fashion. Lolita fashion cannot remain stuck in the past because it never was the past–it is a glance into a time and place that never actually existed, like a vaguely-remembered dream. I can’t help but wonder what other new elements will be incorporated as time goes on.

On Being Lolita: The Merit of Courage

On Being Lolita: The Merit of Courage

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Wearing lolita fashion can be extremely nerve-wracking, regardless of sub-style. Some people are blessed with incredible self-confidence, able to conduct themselves how they please without the creeping fears of being humiliated. Others, myself included, are not so lucky. The outlandishness of lolita clothing makes it as much of a target for unkind words as other extreme styles, but the reputation of “other lolita” certainly doesn’t help. It is one thing to be mocked by strangers–another thing entirely to be mocked by fellow devotees.

Newcomers to the fashion often ask the question: “How can you wear lolita in public?” There is no secret; the only thing necessary is courage.

It takes courage to step out onto a busy street without fearing other people’s reactions to your attire. It takes courage to hold your head high instead of breaking into tears when a crude comment shoots your way. It takes courage to put on a petticoat and hairbow and step outside again when you know that others will mistreat you. It takes courage to meet new people and do new things, no matter what the context.

The most important part, not just about lolita fashion but about any fashion, is feeling comfortable in your clothing. This may not happen immediately when that clothing is something so far from what you may have worn before. I often notice that lolita who wear other bold styles, such as gothic or punk, are less daunted by the prospect of being out and about in their clothing, and I believe it is because most of them have already conquered most of their fears about going against what is “normal” for fashion. If this is one’s first taste of being a black sheep, it can be very daunting!

Recently I took a bit of an involuntary break from wearing lolita fashion, because I moved into a new place and my clothing was left along the wayside for several months. When I finally dressed up again, I felt most of the nervousness that I thought I had lost return to me. As happy as I felt to be wearing my beloved frills again, I worried about what my landlord might think, about what passersby might say, and so forth.

Here are a few tips that I use to help get over that oppressive sinking feeling when fear has taken hold:

  • Stand up straight and tall, and smile! If I act like I am confident, even if I am shaking inside, it is easier to go about my business without thinking too much about my worries. Standing erect and having a pleasant expression exudes an attitude that makes one less of an easy target to pick on.
  • Bring a friend! I find that I think less about what other people might be thinking if I am engaged in conversation with a friend. There is strength in numbers.
  • Remember that strangers have their own lives. They’re not likely to dwell too very much on one odd-looking stranger, so don’t waste time focusing on what goes on in their heads. Keep your thoughts focused on the fun you are having or will have, or other pleasantries.
  • Ignore unkind comments. Arguing with some foul-tongued onlookers is a waste of time and energy. If they’re apt to be cruel, it’s best to move from their presence as quickly as possible. That’s not to say that it’s improper to stand up for oneself, but avoid drawing deeper into an escalating conflict.

The very best way to acclimate yourself to wearing lolita is to do it. Discover how far you can take yourself, and then test your boundaries every once in a while. If you love the clothing but are simply too shy to be seen in public (or you worry about being spotted by co-workers, friends, or schoolmates), pack your frills and change into them at your destination. Walking around with a full “flock” of fully-attired lolita is much less nerve-wracking than being alone.

Most importantly, be aware of your surroundings. Don’t let yourself be unsafe. Whispers or mean comments can wound pride, but anything physical cannot be prevented by courage alone. Do your best to know how the people around you behave. If you live in a bigoted place where you might be threatened for your fashion choices, act responsibly.

Just don’t let unfounded anxiety keep you from fun!

On Being Lolita: Joining a Community

On Being Lolita: Joining a Community

by alice ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Because Chicago is a major city, our “lolita population” constantly ebbs and flows. The sheer volume of people living in the city or various suburbs means there are bound to be several people interested in something you like, even if it is very obscure. This is particularly true for lolita fashion–numerous lolita live in the city, and even more can be found out in the outlying suburbs. There are constantly people moving in and out of the city, coming to and fro for university, and of course there are always new girls (and inevitably some guys) discovering the fashion.

I firmly believe that the very best part of lolita fashion is the communities that form around it. I particularly adore my local community, as most of the members are really great people that I feel very lucky to know. ♥

When one starts getting into lolita fashion, it can be very confusing to sort things out and get a true grasp of what the fashion is and is not. Even following the “rules” cannot guarantee a successful understanding of the style. It takes time and experience to really get a feel for it. Spending time with other lolita is a great way to evolve and grow from a fledgling lolita-admirer to a ♥lolita♥. The best way to do this is participation in the local community–interacting with other, more knowledgable lolita.

However, not every community is the most welcoming. Some lolita have forgotten what it was like to be brand-new to the fashion, enthusiastic about everything and ignorant of sublties of the style. They might have rude comments about the outfit a newcomer was so excited about. However, weathering any initial unpleasantries can reveal willing help–especially if one is eager to learn.

It is very important for a lolita-hopeful to learn how to accept criticism. Most lolita are extremely opinionated, and some will add their 2¢ even if it wasn’t requested. Learn to ignore the rude, unhelpful comments from those who just want to be insulting, but pay close attention to the people who offer constructive criticism–criticism that doesn’t just point out what is wrong, but provides suggestions to make it right. Don’t assume to be an expert on the fashion at first try; be willing to listen to what veteran enthusiasts have to say.

Some people don’t have patience or tact, so they are best avoided if one is brand new. However, there will inevitably be kinder individuals who wouldn’t mind helping out someone unwise in the ways of lolita fashion. Additionally, some people are much crueler online than they are face-to-face; the same person who might be spiteful on an internet community might prove to be a wealth of knowledge that they share with a smile if one is meeting her in person. Attending a local meetup is a great way to talk to experienced lolita, ask them questions, and learn more about such an intriguing style.

It can be intimidating to go to a first meetup–an event where everyone else seems to know each other except you. Being friendly, willing to join conversations, and participating in whatever is going on at the meetup will open doors.

Besides, you just might run into a silly person like me, who loves talking to lolita-to-be~ (Especially since the others are bored with my nonsense by now!)